remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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