Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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