I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
