Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
