He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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