i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
