I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
