Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.

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  (516): We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story. http://tfl.nu/mad1
  Replies (9) Good night (6395) Bad night (1102)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?

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  (250): How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time? http://tfl.nu/zyvh
  Replies (30) Good night (5587) Bad night (1930)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  My dream of liquor pitchers came true

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  (772): My dream of liquor pitchers came true http://tfl.nu/bhu0
  Replies (14) Good night (2780) Bad night (1021)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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  (815): i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing. http://tfl.nu/zu31
  Replies (5) Good night (4022) Bad night (831)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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  (914): She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles. http://tfl.nu/pzt3
  Replies (19) Good night (1978) Bad night (6434)
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  (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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  (845): and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/7djk
  Replies (4) Good night (2630) Bad night (743)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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  (816): ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night. (314): I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it. http://tfl.nu/jfox
  Replies (7) Good night (4290) Bad night (952)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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  (973): U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night http://tfl.nu/l1rw
  Replies (3) Good night (2524) Bad night (1303)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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  (205): Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth. http://tfl.nu/rtd2
  Replies (12) Good night (1166) Bad night (2303)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  he is risen halelujah

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  (303): nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ (1-303): he is risen halelujah http://tfl.nu/sbcr
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (627)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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  (515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (973)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (556)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time

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  (775): He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time http://tfl.nu/8uxf
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (694)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded

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  (304): Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded http://tfl.nu/tqk6
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (370)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.

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  (403): So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore. http://tfl.nu/754l
  Replies (7) Good night (413) Bad night (712)

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