i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!