Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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(816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z

Replies (86) Good night (1671) Bad night (23737)
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(210): View more from Texas

Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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(210): Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two. http://tfl.nu/86sn

Replies (21) Good night (5061) Bad night (873)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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(337): Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things. http://tfl.nu/jc42

Replies (9) Good night (1279) Bad night (3210)
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(407): View more from Florida

I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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(407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i

Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (4246)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"

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(603): sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!" http://tfl.nu/halh

Replies (7) Good night (1514) Bad night (4041)
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(540): View more from Virginia

You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.

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(540): You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened. http://tfl.nu/x4ak

Replies (2) Good night (2691) Bad night (944)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."

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(414): I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong." http://tfl.nu/mk9e

Replies (9) Good night (2113) Bad night (1594)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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(412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm

Replies (7) Good night (3283) Bad night (803)
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(903): View more from Texas

Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.

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(903): Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere. http://tfl.nu/srvw

Replies (9) Good night (3649) Bad night (951)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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(218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (791)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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(860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo

Replies (4) Good night (1769) Bad night (606)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.

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(765): Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown. http://tfl.nu/booj

Replies (7) Good night (1119) Bad night (586)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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(248): I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face http://tfl.nu/fni1

Replies (5) Good night (601) Bad night (361)
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(360): View more from Washington

For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head

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(360): For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head http://tfl.nu/dnlv

Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (230)
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(313): View more from Michigan

The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath

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(313): The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath http://tfl.nu/q2r1

Replies (2) Good night (164) Bad night (336)

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