Texts From Last Night

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  found out what b.m.t stands for.

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  what did you think?

  (921): View more from

  bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.

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  (921): found out what b.m.t stands for. (1-921): what did you think? (921): bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub. http://tfl.nu/4p7g
  Replies (27) Good night (849) Bad night (449)
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  (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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  (619): That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop... http://tfl.nu/9vfi
  Replies (3) Good night (2480) Bad night (412)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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  (303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o
  Replies (14) Good night (3580) Bad night (672)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10611) Bad night (799)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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  (970): Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad http://tfl.nu/i5ms
  Replies (30) Good night (896) Bad night (4343)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

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  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (902) Bad night (7289)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (4211) Bad night (883)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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  (706): We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust. http://tfl.nu/qt9y
  Replies (6) Good night (2656) Bad night (883)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.

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  (480): I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name. http://tfl.nu/lmy8
  Replies (6) Good night (1103) Bad night (2591)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i drank out of a bidet.

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  (443): i drank out of a bidet. http://tfl.nu/arjg
  Replies (16) Good night (805) Bad night (4324)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.

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  (631): Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car. http://tfl.nu/iiqv
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (1411)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2374) Bad night (624)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  (701): Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client. http://tfl.nu/dueq
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (344)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.

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  (856): I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple. http://tfl.nu/po62
  Replies (9) Good night (943) Bad night (230)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

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  (256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (239)

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