Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.