the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right