I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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