Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
