I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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