You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
