Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize