Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
