Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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