i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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