There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize