This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
