didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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