He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
