just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
