when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
