i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
