I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
