vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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