im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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