went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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