worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.