did you get engaged???
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..