So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..