why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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