You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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