Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize