You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
3pm strippers are depressing
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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