it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
