gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.