atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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