how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Houston, we have a blender
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
