I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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