Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
