I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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