dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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