Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
