would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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