guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
