ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
