Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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