i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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