I hope mine doesn't look like that
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
