# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
