I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
