sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
