Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
