Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
