pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
