i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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