he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
