Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
