this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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