Whod you bang
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
