I cannot find my penis.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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