we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
