There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.