I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
