Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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(925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi

Replies (91) Good night (757) Bad night (9798)
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(559): View more from California

yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate

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(559): yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate http://tfl.nu/yink

Replies (8) Good night (2022) Bad night (601)
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(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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(301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith

Replies (36) Good night (3312) Bad night (575)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92

Replies (33) Good night (793) Bad night (5466)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

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(952): I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/w8wo

Replies (18) Good night (5447) Bad night (1315)
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(913): View more from Kansas

hows the party?

(816): View more from Missouri

ists fjcssing insceredle

(913): View more from Kansas

be there in 10

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(913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz

Replies (61) Good night (27158) Bad night (1416)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Really.

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(918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b

Replies (101) Good night (10355) Bad night (2985)
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(650): View more from California

so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

(1-650): View more from California

did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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(650): so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet. (1-650): did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one? http://tfl.nu/1hzw

Replies (24) Good night (8196) Bad night (983)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

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(541): You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night. http://tfl.nu/2m2y

Replies (6) Good night (4488) Bad night (1066)
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(347): View more from New York

I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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(347): I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time. http://tfl.nu/7l8h

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (2036)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

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(+61): It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix. http://tfl.nu/uj3b

Replies (7) Good night (877) Bad night (1318)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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(720): I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship" http://tfl.nu/hte5

Replies (14) Good night (1331) Bad night (633)
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(317): View more from Indiana

You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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(317): You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow. http://tfl.nu/p8o5

Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (607)
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(417): View more from Missouri

He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.

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(417): He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/zieg

Replies (10) Good night (1035) Bad night (351)
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(562): View more from California

New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.

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(562): New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches. http://tfl.nu/v2w2

Replies (9) Good night (777) Bad night (387)

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