Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2871) Bad night (691)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

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  (330): Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood http://tfl.nu/kses
  Replies (4) Good night (4125) Bad night (746)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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  (603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x
  Replies (44) Good night (806) Bad night (4747)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

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  (843): I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out. http://tfl.nu/k8va
  Replies (21) Good night (987) Bad night (4741)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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  (985): shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago http://tfl.nu/00sj
  Replies (20) Good night (6421) Bad night (1320)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15459) Bad night (1555)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

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  (208): She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement. http://tfl.nu/tf3a
  Replies (6) Good night (2655) Bad night (1151)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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  (614): My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet. http://tfl.nu/omff
  Replies (11) Good night (904) Bad night (1900)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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  (404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb
  Replies (5) Good night (2278) Bad night (606)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  you are way too vulgar to be a girl

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  (717): Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION? (410): you are way too vulgar to be a girl http://tfl.nu/3shx
  Replies (20) Good night (8470) Bad night (1234)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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  (561): I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree. http://tfl.nu/yxk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1608) Bad night (624)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.

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  (914): Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why. http://tfl.nu/2wlq
  Replies (4) Good night (1206) Bad night (515)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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  (508): Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess. http://tfl.nu/kvya
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (638)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.

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  (+44): Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking. http://tfl.nu/zbnj
  Replies (6) Good night (1165) Bad night (924)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?

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  (617): Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now? http://tfl.nu/vwhb
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (386)

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