Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?