how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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