Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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