Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.