I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.