I don't usually arrange sex via text message
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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