I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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