The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
