I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We left the knife in your bed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
