it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
